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Times have changed, and that is a good thing—especially the fading-away of cruel taboos that once stigmatized women who engaged in premarital sex or bore children out of wedlock. Thing is, times change for a reason. The values question assumes that sexual mores loosen naturally from conservative to liberal.

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In reality, these values have ebbed and flowed throughout history, often in conjunction with prevailing sex ratios. But the problem is a demographic one. Multiple studies show that college-educated Americans are increasingly reluctant to marry those lacking a college degree. This bias is having a devastating impact on the dating market for college-educated women.

According to population estimates from the U. Among college gr age 30 to 39, there are 7. They change behavior too. According to sociologists, economists and psychologists who have studied sex ratios throughout history, the culture is less likely to emphasize courtship and monogamy when women are in oversupply.

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I wanted to show that god-fearing folks steeped in old-fashioned values are just as susceptible to the effects of shifting sex ratios as cosmopolitan, hookup-happy somethings who frequent Upper East Side wine bars. According to the ARIS study, there are now Mormon women for every Mormon men in the state of Utah—a 50 percent oversupply of women.

Some biographical details have been altered to hide their identities.

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Yes, she told me, the ratios are lopsided. And yes, Mormon men take full advantage. Premarital sex remains taboo for Mormons, but the shortage of Mormon men was pushing some women over the brink. Months later, still neck-deep in Mormon research, I got lucky again. I received an from a hedge fund manager who wanted to talk to me about a job.

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I called back to thank him but explained I was busy writing a book. He asked what the book was about, and I wound up telling him about the Mormon marriage crisis. Both of these socially conservative communities are suffering from marriage crises that are testing not only their Beautiful women seeking sex Bowman but social norms as well. Hunt, a year-old who only recently got married herself, told me she has three times more single women than single men in her matchmaking database.

She shared stories of devout Mormon women who wound up marrying outside the religion—officially known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints—simply because they had no other options. I told her to freeze her eggs. Secular-style dating is rare in the Orthodox community in which Elefant lives. Overall, there are thousands of unmarried girls in their late twenties. For Orthodox Jewish women, as for Mormon ones, getting married and having children is more than a lifestyle choice. Marriage and motherhood are essentially spiritual obligations, which is why the Orthodox marriage crisis is so hotly debated and why it has earned its own moniker.

Shidduch is the Hebrew word for a marriage match, and Orthodox Jews including the more assimilated Modern Orthodox now refer to the excess supply of unmarried women in their communities as the Shidduch Crisis. Mormon and Orthodox Jewish leaders alike fear that their respective marriage crises reflect some failure to instill proper values in young people. Perhaps young people are too self-absorbed? Maybe the men are just too picky? In fact, the root causes of both the Shidduch Crisis and the Mormon marriage crisis have little to do with culture or religion. The true culprit in both cases is demographics.

The fact is that there are more marriage-age women than men both in the Orthodox Jewish community and in the Utah LDS church. And just as I predicted, lopsided gender ratios affect conservative religious communities in much the same way they affect secular ones. At first glance, the state of Utah—60 percent Mormon and home of the LDS church—looks like the wrong place to study what I like to call the man deficit. Like several other western states, Utah actually has more men than women.

But lurking beneath the Census data is a demographic anomaly that makes Utah a textbook example of how shifting gender ratios alter behavior. The LDS church actually has one of the most lopsided gender ratios of any religion in the United States. One fact that becomes apparent when studying the demographics of religion is that it is almost always the women who are more devout.

Across all faiths, women are less likely than men to leave organized religion. According to the Pew Research Center, 67 percent of self-described atheists are men. Statistically speaking, an atheist meeting may be one of the best places for single women to meet available men.

The Utah LDS church was in fact 52 percent female as recently as Sincehowever, the Mormon gender gap in Utah has widened dramatically—from a gender ratio of female to male in to female to male inaccording to a study coauthored by ARIS researchers Rick Phillips, Ryan Cragun, and Barry Kosmin. In other words, the LDS church in Utah now has three women for every two men.

The sex ratio is especially lopsided among Mormon singles. When Blake attends singles events for Mormons, she said there are often two women for every one man. As a result, Blake rarely meets Beautiful women seeking sex Bowman men in these settings and often winds up spending most of her time chatting with other women.

The lopsided s encourage Mormon men to hold out for the perfect wife, Blake said. The dream for the Mormon man is to get married and have six. As he ages, his dream never changes. The simple answer is that over the past twenty-five years, Utah men have been quitting the LDS church in unusually large s.

Contrary to popular belief, the majority of Mormon men do not go on missions, which typically entail a mix of community service and proselytizing. Mormon men are being asked to serve missions at precisely the time in their lives—late teens and early twenties—when sociologists say men are most susceptible to dropping out of organized religion.

Lowering the mission age seems to be having the intended effect: Between andthe of Mormons serving missions increased from 58, a year to 83, according to the LDS website. If this trend continues, the lowered mission age should reduce the Mormon gender gap and ease the Mormon marriage crisis over time. There is ample evidence that Mormon men are delaying marriage. News articles on this topic tend to be filled with tales of Mormon women who want to marry but cannot find a good Mormon man. Get on with life and focus on getting married.

The Tribune story cited a survey of Mormon college students in which men expressed a belief that age 30 is now the right age to get married. The finding was unexpected, given that most Utah Mormons marry by their early twenties. When it came to dating, BYU men seemed paralyzed by indecision. Based on enrollment figures, BYU men should not be so picky. Inthe gender ratio among BYU undergr was actually male to female.

With 17 percent more men than women on campus, it is the BYU women who should be the choosy ones. Hannah Wheelwright helped unravel the mystery for me. A BYU grad, Wheelwright explained that it is common for BYU women to marry male classmates while still in school and that a material of the newlywed women Beautiful women seeking sex Bowman up dropping out of college.

Consequently, the gender ratio among the single students at BYU more closely resembles the gender ratio of the freshman class than it does that of the overall student body. Single BYU men are keenly aware of the lopsided s, said Wheelwright, who is a leader of Ordain Women, a feminist organization seeking the appointment of women to the LDS priesthood.

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As I said, premarital sex is still taboo for Mormons. Yet, just as Bowman suggested, the undersupply of men does seem to be loosening Mormon sexual mores. That is precisely what Mormon women now experience. One consequence: A culture of plastic surgery has taken root among Mormon women.

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According to a RealSelf study, Salt Lake City residents did more searches for breast implants on the RealSelf website than residents of any other city. In this cosmetic arms race, the big guns are Botox, liposuction, and breast augmentation. Kimball Crofts, a Salt Lake City plastic surgeon. He speaks from experience. Mormon himself, Crofts did not marry till his forties. Crofts said his office has college-age women coming in for Botox injections.

Wheelwright believed allowing women a leadership role in the teaching of LDS gospel is important. The lopsided gender ratios feed preexisting disillusionment among Mormon women by making their core duty—getting married—difficult, degrading, or even impossible. As with the Mormon marriage crisis, the Shidduch Crisis has become a source of enormous heartache for Orthodox Jews, especially older single women and their parents. The Letters to the Editor section of The 5 Towns Jewish Times, a weekly newspaper for the Orthodox community in suburban New York, has become a receptacle for Shidduch Crisis—related angst and sadness.

And believe me, sometimes it hurts to do just that—i.

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The statistical explanation for why Orthodox men are in short supply is different from the one for the shortage of Mormon men.

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Mormons and Jews: What 2 Religions Say About the Modern Dating Crisis