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When was the last time you heard a joke suggesting that sex invariably goes ever downhill or totally crashes after menopause? Like yesterday?

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This concept was boldly reaffirmed — without reference to reliable research — at a conference on menopause held by the National Institutes of Health in ! So, if you ask your doctor about sex after menopause, she or he will likely agree that the outlook is gloomy. By far the most common sexual problem that women report in their post-reproductive years is dyspareunia — pain or discomfort during or after intercourse or insertion of fingers or sex toys into the vagina.

All of these can make intercourse uncomfortable or even intolerable. Many women and sex therapists report the reality of the use-it-or-lose-it factor: regular sex, either with a partner, through masturbation, or a combination of the two, definitely helps keep vaginal tissues more supple and moist.

Liberal use of a water-soluble lubricant is often enough to make intercourse more comfortable.

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You may need to work up to it. Over a few weeks, the vaginal opening can be comfortably stretched using lubricants and successively larger blunt objects such as vibrators or dildos, or a set of vaginal dilators available without a prescription at medical supply stores. Women who have a personal plastic speculum may find looking inside the vagina helpful to assess the normal appearance of vaginal tissues and to monitor response to self-help or medical remedies.

Many older women also report slower response to mental or physical sexual stimulation; a longer time to become sufficiently aroused; or, in severe cases, a total lack of interest in or revulsion to sex.

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Decreased interest in sex may be temporary or long-term, but sur-gical removal Muscular female adult dating gun for mature lady the ovaries i. Numerous drugs, especially serotonin reuptake inhibitors SSRIsare known to cause reduced sexual interest. On top of this, the lower systemic availability of testosterone, the key promoter of desire in both women and men, can cause less interest in sex.

First, ask your doctor to review all of your medications and discontinue any that are not essential. The SSRI citalopram Celexa is reported to have a lower negative impact on desire, so switching to it may be an option. In addition, you can use any of the suggestions in Strategies for Staying Sexual, below. Involuntary loss of urine can occur at any age but, after the age of 65, 10 percent of the population experiences mild to severe leakage.

Urinary leaks can be disconcerting, and the possibility of this happening during sex can cause some women to avoid partner sex altogether. Arnold Kegel, who researched and popularized them in the s. They do, especially for mild to moderate urine loss. And, the huge plus of well-toned genital muscles is the possibility of having more intense orgasms! If doing Kegels on your own does not improve continence, a biofeedback program can be very effective in strengthening continence muscles and monitoring progress. Sometimes biofeedback is covered by insurance.

Biofeedback can be combined with bladder retraining, which helps you hold urine comfortably for longer periods of time. In addition, several medications are available to control overactive bladders. Pelvic surgery can result in a host of dramatic changes in sexuality. This is particularly true for hysterectomy, especially if one or both of the ovaries are removed. Until recently, hysterectomy was the recommended remedy for uterine fibroids, but newer techniques are now available that preserve the uterus. Sexual changes associated with hysterectomy, as with menopause in general, may include vaginal dryness, reduced or lost sexual desire, noticeable changes in time to orgasm, less intense orgasms, and loss of ability to have multiple orgasms.

See the suggestions for alleviating vaginal dryness and loss of desire noted above and Strategies for Staying Sexual, below. In addition to the techniques suggested here, many women use a variety of self-help solutions to enhance their interest in, and comfort during, sex.

Heterosexual women and lesbians certainly have the same problems, but lesbians may find it easier to negotiate solutions because their partners may have similar issues. Sex therapist JoAnn Loulan asserts that sex should begin with willingness and end with pleasure, with or without orgasm in between.

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Rewarding sex can be as simple as cuddling, trading sensual massages, sharing fantasies, genital stroking, or watching or reading erotica alone or together. Many sex therapists recommend the use of filmed or written erotica to encourage sexual interest, and erotic material is readily available for every taste and interest.

In addition, there is a wealth of sexuality self-help material in books, magazines, and on the Internet. My personal favorites are sexual techniques based on the ancient Asian traditions of Tantra and Tao, which take the focus off of the genitals and use ritual, extended sex play and full-body sexual stimulation to create more intense sexual response.

Books and workshops by Margot Anand are particularly popular. It is a self-affirming sexual activity and is eminently useful in helping to discover different routes to sexual pleasure. In national studies, up to 40 percent of women report that they masturbate on a regular basis, but this incidence may be lower for older women.

Many older women may remember being discouraged or even punished for masturbating as children, and may still be reluctant to engage in this pleasurable sexual activity. Ultrasound images have captured male and female fetuses masturbating in the uterus; these images confirm that masturbation is an innate and entirely normal part of sex! Outercourse, as described above, greatly reduces the risk of STIs, without reducing pleasure. There are countless websites devoted to sex and aging that provide Muscular female adult dating gun for mature lady on every conceivable topic.

Long-time NWHN member Betty Dodson, a very youthful 80, is celebrating 40 years of helping women explore and enhance their sexuality. Recently, Dodson teamed up with Carlin Ross to build a new interactive website that provides resources on a wide array of topics www. Incorporating sex toys, especially vibrators, into masturbation or partner sex can be extremely helpful in altering sexual routines. For a start, Babeland www.

Your therapist can help you sort through feelings about sex and aging, issues with a partner, or medical conditions that impact on sex, and she or he can make additional suggestions about how to cope with other problems and can suggest additional strategies for staying sexual. Whether you are alone or with a partner, good sex — by your personal definition — can enhance health and self-esteem. If the link you are looking for is broken, at nwhn nwhn. Less well-known is her early interest and activism on sexuality.

Barbara urged me to document the history of feminist sexuality activism, a project that is now underway. It saddens me that she won't be here to see the finished product.

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Deep Dive Articles. Strategies for Staying Sexual After Menopause When was the last time you heard a joke suggesting that sex invariably goes ever downhill or totally crashes after menopause? Published: Mar 1, By: Rebecca Chalker. Vaginal Dryness By far the most common sexual problem that women report in their post-reproductive years is dyspareunia — pain or discomfort during or after intercourse or insertion of fingers or sex toys into the vagina.

Solutions: Many women and sex therapists report the reality of the use-it-or-lose-it factor: regular sex, either with a partner, through masturbation, or a combination of the two, definitely helps keep vaginal tissues more supple and moist. Low or Absent Sexual Desire Many older women also report slower response to mental or physical sexual stimulation; a longer time to become sufficiently aroused; or, in severe cases, a total lack of interest in or revulsion to sex.

Solutions: First, ask your doctor to review all of your medications and discontinue any that are not essential. Urinary Incontinence Involuntary loss of urine can occur at any age but, after the age of 65, 10 percent of the population experiences mild to severe leakage. Pelvic Surgery Pelvic surgery can result in a host of dramatic changes in sexuality. Solutions: See the suggestions for alleviating vaginal dryness and loss of desire noted above and Strategies for Staying Sexual, below.

Strategies for Staying Sexual In addition to the techniques suggested here, many women use a variety of self-help solutions to enhance their interest in, and comfort during, sex. Websites: There are countless websites devoted to sex and aging that provide information on every conceivable topic. Women-friendly Sexuality Boutiques: Incorporating sex toys, especially vibrators, into masturbation or partner sex can be extremely helpful in altering sexual routines.

References 1.

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Strategies for Staying Sexual After Menopause