Added: Willis Nagle - Date: 07.07.2021 11:32 - Views: 28187 - Clicks: 1008
Romantic love or even infatuation is not the issue. The problem for many is the confusion of love and obsession. Many believe that if they are not experiencing the dopamine and adrenaline induced highs of new love, that then surely they must not be in love.
It can be addictive to feel the throes of uncontrollable and insatiable passion. However, with this comes a price, as these situations are also full of uncertainty, anxietyemotional highs and lows; and intrusive thoughts, feelings, and urges.
Many scientists, such as Helen Fisher and myself, believe that infatuation is not supposed to last.
Mainly, its purpose is thought to bring couples together to focus intensely on each other to solidify their relationships or pair-bonds. Of course, for some this goes hand-in-hand with matingand having and raising children a noble deed that perhaps would not prevail without passion. Indeed, long-term, obsession does not promote our best interests. However, romantic love with engagement, intensity, and sexual interest, but without obsession was positively associated with satisfaction. Other work suggests that romantic love with low obsession is also associated with higher self-esteemwhile obsession is not e.
The direction of causality could be from self-esteem to love. Such events may heighten feelings of insecurity about the relationship, and could manifest as obsessive love. So if romantic love is clearly good for us, while obsession tempting us with its rush over time reveals its true colors, why do many still get hooked? Some scientists have started to think about the links between romantic love and addiction. In fact, many of the Love desire and romance circuits shown in studies of romantic love also appear in studies with addictive substances—from monetary rewards, to cocaine, and even food.
In a sense the human drive to form pair-bonds and raise successful offspring is essential for the survival and thriving of the species. Some scientists have extrapolated to altruism defined as behaviors which benefit another with either no gain or some immediate cost to the self suggesting that it emerged to protect social groups—both kin and nonkin Silk, Thus, beyond romance and mating, love may serve to keep couples together over time, providing them with friendshipcare and companionship. The attachment system is a species-specific system that is thought to have evolved to increase chances of species survival by providing a physiological alarm system that responds to safety and harm by either seeking proximity to the attachment figure or exploration of the environment.
What can we take away from all this? These relationship- and health-promoting behaviors help to keep us happy and healthy. For example, marital satisfaction predicts global happinessabove and beyond other types of satisfaction e.
It is also associated with psychological well-being and physical health e. On the other hand, low relationship quality is a major predictor of depression and divorce e. Indeed, love is complex. It involves intensity, passion, friendship, caring, commitment, but also infatuation. There are many benefits to being in a healthy partnership, so take the first step and discern what is going really well in your relationship, and what can use a little fine-tuning.
Bianca Acevedo, Ph. Bianca Acevedo Ph. The Highly Romantic Marriage. Relationships Is It Love or Desire? Research shows that romantic love and infatuation are different. Posted May 5, Share. About the Author. Online: Personal website. Read Next. Back Psychology Today.
Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness. Family Life Child Development Parenting. View Help Index. Do I Need Help? Back Magazine. July Who Is the True You? Back Today. Essential Re.Love desire and romance
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